Fat Cakes and Pear Pods
by sentimental hearts
Summary: A collection of Seddie centric drabbles and one shots based on word promps found by flipping through books with my eyes closed. They are of varying length and points in their relationship.
1. Stapler

**Disclaimer****:** I do not own iCarly. iCarly is owned by Nickelodeon and Schneider's Bakery. No infringement is intended with this fanfiction.

**A/N****: **These are all Seddie centric one shots inspired by one word prompts. I get my prompts by flipping through books and blindly pointing at a word. Great system I know. Also, I only write at like 3am or later so it these are awful I apologize.

**#1 Stapler**

**Status: Age 17  
**

"Your…mom…right next door," Sam Puckett managed to say in between kisses. Without Carly there to keep things on track, the brainstorm session for next week's show had gone off track [but now in its fifth successful year, they figured one skipped brainstorm session wouldn't kill iCarly]. And now Sam found herself making out with her boyfriend Freddie Benson in his den with his overprotective mother one room over. Not that she was complaining.

"I know," Freddie replied, a devilish grin on his face. He picked up Sam and as she giggled [Damn that Fredward. As a general rule, Sam never giggled. She wasn't her sister Melanie for Christ's sake.] and playfully squirmed, carried her to the desk and sat her on the empty end of it. He pushed the idea cards strewn about off the desk sending a rainbow of color coded index cards sailing to the ground. Sam couldn't help but laugh at the little tech-dork when after realizing his laptop was on the desk as well, he carefully cradled it like a small child and placed it on chair.

He returned to Sam and began placing slopping kisses on her cheeks and laughed. She may publically claim she hates things like that but he knew better. He knew that there was difference between His Sam and the Sam the world saw and the fact that she was comfortable enough to strip down the walls she built to protect herself from the world for him made him love her even more. Sam pulled him closer and met her lips with his. As Freddie deepened the kiss she leaned back pulling him with her until he was on top of her.

"Wait. Stop," she commanded out of nowhere.

"Too fast?" he asked, concerned.

"No, it's not that. There's a stapler in my back."


	2. Matrimony

**Disclaimer:** I do not own iCarly. iCarly is owned by Nickelodeon and Schneider's Bakery. No infringement is intended with this fanfiction.

**A/N: **These are all Seddie centric one shots inspired by one word prompts. I get my prompts by flipping through books and blindly pointing at a word. Great system I know. Also, I only write at like 3am or later so it these are awful I apologize.

**#2 Matrimony**

**Status: A decade into the future. The iCarlies are 24.  
**

"If anyone has any reason as to why these two should not be united in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace,"the minister spoke.

Sam closed here eyes and took a deep breath. And for the first time in her life she refrained from speaking her mind. She opened her eyes and smiled at her best friend, the one she had been in love with since she was 13. She was 24 now.

And although she had a million reasons to object-she loved him first; she had been his first kiss and he her's; they lost their virginity to eachother; she knew more about him than this woman ever could; it just wasn't fair-she was prepared to hold her peace.**  
**


	3. Chicken

**A/N and disclaimer are the same that they were in the first two chapters.**

**#3 Chicken**

**Status: The iCarlies' senior year of high school  
**

"Here you guys, our senior yearbooks!" Carly cheered as she placed copies of the book in front of her two best friends. Instead of offering the response she had hoped for, Freddie and Sam groaned.

Her face fell in frustration with her friends' lack of enthusiasm. "Why aren't you excited?"

Freddie looked up from his new laptop, a sorry-I-won't-make-it-to-your-graduation present from his dad. "Getting our yearbooks means there's only a week left before we graduate. I'm not ready to say goodbye to Ridgeway yet."

"Getting our yearbooks means there's still a week left before we graduate. That's still another week I'm stuck with Briggs. I was ready to say goodbye to Ridgeway Sophomore year," Sam offered her opinion on the matter before popping a whole chicken nugget into her mouth.

It was now Carly's turn to groan. "Will you just open your stupid books up the the superlative section? I'm too nervous to see if I won, I need one of you to do it." It wasn't a big secret that Carly was gunning to win Best Dressed. Hell, she already had a list of Penny Tee phrases that subtly alluded to her winning of the title ready to screen print.

Sam was far too busy with her chicken to do open the book. She pushed Freddie's copy into his lap.

"OW! SAM WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT-"

"Not now!" Carly stopped his rant.

"Alright, let's see. Class Clown: Gibby, Class Gossip: Wendy, Cu..." Freddie stopped.

"What?! I didn't win? Who did? If it was that skunk bag Missy I swear I'm gonna throw her-"

Freddie, regaining his ability to speak, cut Carly off. "No, you won. It's just this..." He turned the book towards the two girls.

_ Cutest Couple: Sam Puckett & Freddie Benson_

Carly laughed at her classmates inaccurate assumption. Sam however began choking on her chicken.


	4. Dizzy

**A/N and disclaimer are the same that they were in the first two chapters.**

**#4 Dizzy**

**Status: Age 16  
**

"Fredweird, I'm fine. Put me down. I just overdid it. I guess I wasn't as over the flu as I thought."

Sam was just getting over a flu strain so nasty it made licking public items and tainted chocolates _combined_ look like child's play. After a dizzy spell during tonight's iCarly taping and the sight of meatballs causing her to gag, the other to members of the iCarly team decided it was time to call it a night. It was only after Sam insisted the show continue as scheduled that Carly and Gibby remained in the studio fighting the third annual meatball war.

"No, if you lose your balance on the stairs you're gonna hurt yourself. Besides after all the times you've carried me somewhere I didn't want to go, I like how the tables have turned." Freddie placed his blonde friend down on the couch. He opened the laptop sitting on the table and typed in the familiar domain name. "The webcam's on and already hooked up to the monitor upstairs if you want to talk to us. Do not get off this couch though, Puckett."

Sam smacked the tech nerd upside the head and smiled. "Stop power tripping, Fredfreak." She turned to the computer and saw her best friend pelting the poor shirtless Gibby with meatballs. "Ah, meatball war. Fight' the good fight," she said.

Freddie laughed. "Yeah, it's one for the history books. Do you remember...no nevermind."

"What?"

"Do you remember what happened during the first war? After you postponed it," Freddie blurted out. "Please don't hit me for speaking of it."

"Don't worry I won't. I'm too lazy to sit up so you get free pass this time. But yeah, I do. We kissed. And then you go and kiss my sister," Sam said with a hint of hostility in her voice.

"Hey, to the fair I thought she was you. And you let me think that for another year!"

"Psh, small details..." Sam's sentence was inturrpted by a scream coming from the computer. Carly's overcompetitive nature got the better of her it appeared. She was on top of Gibby trying to shove a meatball in his nose.

"God, I better get up there before she kills him or something. We'll be down to check on you soon." He placed a kiss on her forehead before getting up off the couch.

Sam looked at Freddie confused.

"Kissing during meatball wars. It's tradition," he explained. He smiled and turned to walk to the elevator.

Sam pulled him back. "No, Fredwardo. This is." She stood up and put her lips to his.

Freddie spent the next week sick in bed. It was worth it.


	5. Crouton

**Disclaimer****:** I do not own iCarly. iCarly is owned by Nickelodeon and Schneider's Bakery. No infringement is intended with this fanfiction.

**#5 Crouton  
**

**Status: Age 17  
**

"You done with that?" Sam gestures to the salad in front of Freddie with her fork. She pulls the oversized Cheesecake Warehouse bowl to her side of the table before Freddie can open his mouth to protest.

"Yes, the one cherry tomato I ate off it was more than enough to satisy my diatary needs. By all means engulf my salad," Freddie replies with heavy sarcasm.

Sam looks up from the bowl and flashes him a smile. The smile she reserves just for him. The smile that says she respects him as a worthy opponent. The smile that made him fall for her. "No problem there, Fredifer. Besides I knew you ordered this knowing I'd take it from you. It's a garden salad. You always order that jank caesar. And you hate croutons; this is covered in them."

"Puckett, you know me well."

"Well that's because the only thing Mama knows and loves better than Fat Cakes is Freddork Bensuck." Freddie smiles. It's not often Sam will admit to loving with him. At least not out loud. In their year of dating [which they are commemorating today] he can count the number of times she has said it on one hand. It doesn't offend him. He knows it's hard for her to open herself up to people, seeing it as a sign of weakness. So when she says it he knows she means it.

"Hey, the caesar salad here is not jank!" he says a little too loud. People from the neighboring tables turn in his direction. "Croutons are jank," he finishes in a mumble.

Sam picks up one of the dried hunks of bread from the salad and throws it. It hits Freddie in the middle of his forehead.

"Did you just hit me with a crouton?"

"Freddie, I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm just sittin' here trying to eat my salad-"

"_My_ salad," he cuts her off.

"Fine, _your_ salad in peace."

"Bullshit, Puckett." He throws the crouton back.

She puts her fork down. "Are you really going to start this, Benson?"

He answers by throwing a cucumber slice. It lands in her blonde curls.

"I'll take that as a yes." She gets up from their table and walks to the dessert bar. She returns carrying the restaurant's signature dessert, an entire cherry cheesecake. "Happy Anniversary," she says as her lips move closer to his. As Freddie puckers expecting their lips to meet, at the last moment she shoves the entire cake into his face. She runs a finger down his cheek.

"You should know by now I play dirty." She smirks and seductively puts her cheesecake covered finger into her mouth.

"I know. Where you think I learned how to?" He asks.

As Sam opens her mouth to ask what what means he places a kiss upon it, covering her face in the sticky dessert as well.


	6. Over

**Disclaimer****:** I do not own iCarly. iCarly is owned by Nickelodeon and Schneider's Bakery. No infringement is intended with this fanfiction.

**A/N:** I don't like this one all that much. It's probably the weakest. Sorry guys! =/

**#6 Over  
**

**Status: Age 16  
**

Sam Puckett always had a knack for picking the shittiest boyfriends. First, there was Jonah, hit on Carly. Then along came Shane, who made Sam fight with her best friend for his attention. Ivan was next and promptly kicked to the curb when he tried to make Sam choose between him and iCarly. Now there was Michael, who Freddie just caught ramming his tongue down Wendy's throat.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? Sam runs to the bathroom with Carly for a minute and you think it's okay to hook up with Wendy?"

"Dude, calm down. It's a party. I'm just having fun. What Sam doesn't know won't hurt her. You won't tell her. Bros over hoes, right?" Michael said, taking a swig from his drink.

"No, it's not bros over hoes. It's Sam over assholes," Freddie said before his fist connected with Michael's jaw.


	7. Roof

**Disclaimer****:** I do not own iCarly. iCarly is owned by Nickelodeon and Schneider's Bakery. No infringement is intended with this fanfiction.

**#7 Roof  
**

**Status: Senior year of high school  
**

"Oh, there you are. Do you have any idea how long I've been searching for you?" Freddie asks, walking onto the roog.

Sam didn't turn to face him. "Leave me alone, Freddie."

'Freddie? What no Freddifer? Fredwardo? Freduccini? Will you please tell me why you're mad at me?" He went to wrap his arms around her waist and thought better of it.

"I'm not mad at you." She finally turns to meet his eyes. "I'm proud of you. You worked your ass off to get into that school."

"If you were proud of me then why did you leave after I showed you my acceptance letter to stand alone on a roof in the middle of winter?"

She sighs. "Because I don't want you to leave, okay? I know how important getting into that school is for you and I didn't want to ruin that moment for you, but I don't want you to go. I don't want you to move across the country without me"

He wraps his arms around her and she buries her face in his chest. "Sam, don't be silly. Even worrying about that is months away. What makes you think we'll even still be together by then?"

Sam looks up at him. She flicks him hard in forehead before melting back into his chest and mumbles something that sounds suspiciously close to the word "asshole". He laughs and kisses the top of her head.

"You know I'm joking, Puckett. I promise you we'll work it out. Planes, buses, cars, trains, webcams. One way or another we will see eachother. I won't go unless I'm sure of that."

"Thank you, Fredweirdo."

"Don't mention it. Let's just focus on right now and worry about the rest later. And speaking of right now, I'm freezing. Can we go inside?"

"No."

'Why not?"

"The door is locked from this side."

He groans.


	8. Say

**Disclaimer****:** I do not own iCarly. iCarly is owned by Nickelodeon and Schneider's Bakery. No infringement is intended with this fanfiction.

**#8 Say  
**

**Status: At least a decade into the future.**

"So what do you say?" Freddie asks Carly as he pours coffee into her half empty mug.

"I say you're going to have to come with a different idea if you want her to say yes. Can you hand me the sugar?"

He hands her three individual packets from the holder. "Alright, what if I put the ring in a fat cake and then put that fat cake in the middle of a plate of bacon?"

"I'd say either she'll swallow the ring or congrats you're going to be engaged by tomorrow night."


	9. Yes

**Disclaimer****:** I do not own iCarly. iCarly is owned by Nickelodeon and Schneider's Bakery. No infringement is intended with this fanfiction.

**#10 Yes  
**

**Status: Current time.**

Sam groans as she walks across the hall from the Shay's to the Benson's. The last thing she wants to be doing right now is this stupid English project. Especially since she's been paired with Fredwardio Benson. _Eh, at least that nub will be too paranoid I'll mess it up to let me do anything. Mama does love free A's._

She knocks on the door and waits for the tech nerd to answer. "Freddie, what took you so long? A trip to the-oh. I'm sorry, Sam. I thought you were Freddie. We're working on my fear of his independence so he ran to the market alone without the first aid kit I usually make him carry. Do you need something?"

She tries to supress her laughter. "Me and Freddie were supposed to work on out English project. If he isn't here I can just go back to Carly's and wait..."

"He shouldn't be too long. Would you like to just wait here, maybe look at some of his baby pictures? I know how much you enjoyed when I showed them off at school." If there is one thing Marissa Benson cannot resist, it is showing people childhood photos of Freddie.

A smile appears on Sam's face as soon as she hears the words "baby pictures". If there is one thing Sam Puckett cannot resits, it is meat. Baby pictures of Freddie are a close second though. "Why yes, Mrs. Benson. I would love that."


	10. Dislike

**Disclaimer****:** I do not own iCarly. iCarly is owned by Nickelodeon and Schneider's Bakery. No infringement is intended with this fanfiction.

**#11 Dislike**

**Status: Any time after iKiss  
**

Sam really disliked Freddie, maybe even possibly hated him.

She disliked his horrible jokes, his stupid striped shirts.

She disliked when he'd force compliments out of her for bags of bacon. Well, no she didn't hate that because hey, it's free bacon, right?

She disliked his undying love for Carly. However, she loved laughing to herself each time her best friend turned him down.

The only reason she didn't totally hate his mom was because that crazy woman constantly embarrassed him and really, how could she hate someone who caused Freddifer so many problems? Sometimes she really wanted to hug that woman (though of course, she'd never admit that out loud).

She really, really disliked his tech nerd ways and his constant suggestions for iCarly. Honestly, who ever told that kid he was funny? Probably that nut bag of a mother he has. There goes the urge to hug her.

She could deal with all of that though. What she disliked, no, more like totally and completely _hated_ more than anything was that she could still feel his lips on her's.

And no matter how hard she tried, that was one thing she couldn't dislike.


	11. Dislike Part 2

**Disclaimer****:** I do not own iCarly. iCarly is owned by Nickelodeon and Schneider's Bakery. No infringement is intended with this fanfiction.

**#12 Dislike part 2  
**

**Status: Any time after iKiss**

** A/N: I sort of feel like it's cheating to use the same word for two chapters, but I really wanted to do a Freddie version of the last chapter.**

Freddie really disliked Sam, maybe even possibly hated her.

He disliked her constant need to insult him, the punches she threw, the slap games she thought were so hilarious.

He disliked that he adored the laughter she emited as a result of those punches and slaps.

He disliked the way her bright blue eyes light up like stars when she sees a piece of bacon. No, in all honesty he loved that. A lot.

He disliked that he would bring her plastic baggies of bacon just to be the reason her big blues would shine, even if it's really the bacon doing that and not him.

He disliked that he knew what scent her shampoo was and what flavor lip glass she prefers (apple, coconut because it reminds her of pie).

He could deal with all of that though. What he disliked, no, more like totally and completely _hated_ more than anything was that she was his first kiss.

Because he was fairly certain that after that, no other kiss would compare.


	12. Giggled

**Disclaimer****:** I do not own iCarly. iCarly is owned by Nickelodeon and Schneider's Bakery. No infringement is intended with this fanfiction.

**#13 Giggled**

**Status: Current time**

She watched from the door, bowl of chili in hand. She watched as he tested his new camera. She watched him lovingly wipe the lens with a soft cloth, caressing the camera as if it were a child while doing do.

None of that interested her though.

What she cares about is the pear pod. The pear pod currently piping music into his ears. The pear pod currently piping horribly embarrassing music into his ears. She knew this because he was singing along. Quite passionately. After putting his camera down he adds in the dance moves. It is only then does it click in her mind that he listening to music from _Prep School Musical_, the horrible corny TV movie musical that Carly is in love with.

That's it for Sam. She's a goner. She shoves as much chili into her mouth as possible to help contain her giggles.


End file.
